Category: random thoughts

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10 Reasons I Love “The Hitman’s Bodyguard”

This movie came out in 2017 but I didn’t see it until this year on cable. I’ve seen it about 10 times and love it. Here are the 10 reasons this movie is my favorite.

  1. Samuel L. Jackson – any movie with Samuel L. is made better by his presence.
  2. Ryan Reynolds – Deadpool in a suit.
  3. The Premise – The thought of a hitman needing a bodyguard is hilarious to me.
  4. The “seat belt” rule – Watch the movie. You’ll get it.
  5. Salma Hayek – Badass
  6. The inside “mole” that you see coming but works anyway.
  7. The road trip and the car chases.
  8. Triple A rated – Seriously, watch the movie. You’ll get it.
  9. The “plethora” use of the word – muthaf**********
  10. Samuel L. “Muthaf***” Jackson

Bonus:  “When life gives you shit, you make kool-aid.” – Life advice.

#mdrayfordwrites

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How “Orange is the New Black” Can Teach a Teen

Photo credit: Netflix
Photo credit: Netflix

I just found out that Diva, my 16-year-old daughter (not her real name), watches “Orange is the New Black”.  I’m sure  you have heard of this superb Netflix drama.  The basic premise of the show is life in a woman’s prison.  The main character is taken from a middle/upper class environment and thrown in prison for a crime she committed several years ago.  The writing is excellent and the acting is great.  You get to know all of these women and their back stories make for interesting watching.  “Orange” gives you everything from drama to comedy to tragedy.  I binged watched the entire first season over three days.  I was hyped about watching the second season.

And then Diva dropped an OITNB reference and I froze.  My first thought was to cancel the Netflix subscription.  This show has language, violence and nudity.  And sex.  It is not suitable for children.  Is it appropriate for a teenager?  No. I was going to cancel Netflix.  (Right after I watched Season 2, of course.  Priorities, people.)

Then I decided to do something revolutionary.  I talked to my daughter to see what it was she was getting from the show.  She was getting an in your face manual of what happens when you make wrong decisions and follow the wrong people.  She was getting an illustration of every lesson I have been preaching/teaching.  OITNB was acting as a teaching tool for some serious decisions.

Netflix stays.  My season 2 viewing is saved.  And I have a better understanding of the way my daughter thinks about life.  Thanks to OITNB.   Or I could be a really bad parent.  Who knows.  Diva just wants me to catch up on the season so we can discuss.

 

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NBA Playoffs – Round 2

I know they aren't in the playoffs! Let me live.
I know they aren’t in the playoffs! Let me live.

 

My favorite team, the Lakers are not in the playoffs this year.  See my post about the first round here.

I have watched a lot of basketball over the past week.  Not caring who wins has given me a new  perspective on the game.  I made some predictions for the first round.  Let’s see how I did.

EAST

Pacers vs. Hawks – My prediction:  Pacers in 7 (Pacers looked shaky in this series.)

Heat vs. Bobcats – My prediction:  Heat in 4 (Too easy.)

Raptors vs.  Nets – My prediction:  Nets in 6 (Nets needed an extra game to get it done.)

Bulls vs. Wizards – My prediction:  Wizards in 6 (Wizards only needed 5 games.)

 

WEST

Spurs vs. Mavericks – My prediction: Spurs in 4 (Totally missed on this one.  Spurs needed 7 games.)

Thunder vs. Grizzlies – My prediction:  Thunder in 7 (Nailed it.)

Clippers vs. Warriors – My prediction: Clippers in 7 (Got this one too.)

Rockers vs. Trailblazers – My prediction: Trailblazers in 7 (Was really happy Blazers took care of the Rockets in 6 games.)

******************************

Not too bad.  On to the second round:

Pacers vs. Wizards – My prediction:  Wizards in 7 (tough call)

Heat vs. Nets – My prediction:  Heat in 6

Spurs vs. Blazers – My prediction: Spurs in 6

Thunder vs. Clippers – My prediction:  Thunder in 7 (close call)

Let’s see how I do in the next round.

 

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Parenting Sucks (Sometimes)!

Being a parent is ……

Laying awake listening for the door to open

Knowing you can’t truly rest until the other part of your heart returns

Being a parent is ……

Setting a curfew for your teenager

Knowing at some point that your child will test the limit and forget how to tell time

Being a parent is ……

Allowing your child to mess up

In the safe cocoon of your home

Hoping they learn how to be a responsible adult

By enforcing consequences for their actions

Being a parent is ……

Having faith in a higher being to protect your heart

And releasing the breath you didn’t know you were holding

When you hear, “Mom, I’m home.”

 

2014 Michelle Rayford

 

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NBA Playoffs 2014 – First Round

image

Noticeably absent from the playoffs this year is my favorite team, the Lakers.   This season was terrible.  For a lot of reasons.  It makes me tired to think of everything that went wrong this year.  The best coping mechanism is denial.  We are going to pretend this season never happened.

Since I don’t have a rooting interest in this  years playoffs,  I have decided to look at things objectively and make predictions.  ‘Cause I don’t care who wins.  Here we go for the first round:

EAST

(1) Pacers vs. (8) Hawks – My prediction:  Pacers in 7

(2) Heat vs. (7) Bobcats – My prediction:  Heat in 4

(3) Raptors vs. (6) Nets – My prediction:  Nets in 6

(4) Bulls vs. (5) Wizards – My prediction:  Wizards in 6

 

WEST

(1) Spurs vs. (8) Mavericks – My prediction: Spurs in 4

(2) Thunder vs. (7) Grizzlies – My prediction:  Thunder in 7

(3) Clippers vs. (6) Warriors – My prediction: Clippers in 7

(4) Rockers vs. (5) Trailblazers – My prediction: Trailblazers in 7

 

We’ll check back in when the next round begins to see how I did.

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My Daughter Got Her Navel Pierced so Why Does My Stomach Hurt?

Not a navel piercing.
Not a navel piercing.

My daughter, Princess, got her navel pierced about a month ago.  It’s taken this long to analyze my feelings about it.  Was I surprised?  Yes and no.  She has been rambling about wanting to get one for some time.

Princess:  “Mon, I think I want to get my navel pierced.”

Me:  “Why?”

P:  “I like them.”

M:  (again) “Why?”

P:  “I just do.”

Some variation of this conservation continued at random intervals for months.  And then she turned 18.  That means she didn’t need my permission to have it done.  Then she came  home with one.

Clip-on belly jewelry
Clip-on belly jewelry (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My reaction was mixed.  I  believe in giving my girls the confidence to make decisions about their own bodies once they reach a certain age.  They have to make decisions for themselves.  It can be as simple as considering a new hair cut or the complex decision of whether or not to have sex.  I tell them the decision is theirs.  It is not left up to peer pressure or to win the affection of some boy.  I want them to be comfortable in their own skins and learn to trust themselves.

I didn’t make a big deal about the piercing.  I told Princess I didn’t like it but it was her body.  I advised her to make sure to keep it clean.

The world kept spinning.  But I can’t help but  notice that my baby is growing up and inching closed to adulthood.  She is becoming more and more independent.  I am at times proud and terrified.

 

The other day Princess started a random conversation.

Princess:  “Mom, would you be mad if I got a tattoo?”

Me:  (deep breath)

Somebody pass me the antacid.

 

 

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Happy Valentine’s Day, I Guess

valentine day

I’m not that big on Valentine’s Day.   As my  husband can attest, I’m really easy to buy for on this day.  I don’t like chocolate. (Yuck!)  Flowers don’t like me.  (I have a brown thumb.)  Flowers lose the will to live in my presence.   I do love jewelry but my more practical side thinks there are better ways to invest that much money.

I’m happy with a card and a nice dinner.  I know that I am loved everyday.  Hubby doesn’t have to prove it all on one day.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m a sucker for romantic gestures.  But  Valentine’s Day seems so forced.  Bah humbug!

In that spirit, I present my five favorite anti-Valentine’s Day songs.  Just because.

Too Gone, Too Long – En Vogue

The harmonies are perfect.  The message of telling an ex lover that you are over him is the ultimate revenge.

Finally Made Me Happy – Macy Gray

How bad was the relationship when his leaving finally made you happy?

50 Ways to Say Goodbye – Train

Just a fun song.  My lover didn’t leave me, they died.  

Learned From the Best – Whitney Houston

Don’t try to come back now.  I learned how to break a heart.  I learned from you.

Karma – Alicia Keys

What goes around, comes around.  You did me wrong and the universe is coming for you.

Hope you get to spend the day with someone you love doing something you love!