Single Parenting Ain’t for Suckers

 

 

I have a new-found respect for all the single parents out there.  I was already amazed at the job they do.  I was raised in a single parent home (my parents divorced when I was 13) so I am aware of what a thankless job it is to raise kids.  What brought about this new enlightenment?   I am now essentially a single parent myself.

Hubby has a job out-of-state.  For the last four months, I’ve been adjusting to not only a long distance relationship but being a solo parent.  Yes, hubby is in constant contact but it’s not the same as being here.  It’s not an ideal situation but one that many families face every day.

And you want to know the truth about single parenting.  It makes you tired.  Like all the time.  You have to do everything.  Everything?  Everything!  It ranges from the routine morning, school, work, homework, dinner act to the more mundane answering of every question.  No more passing off to the other parent.  (Go ask your Dad has lost its effectiveness.)

Here is my plan.   I’m going to take some vitamins, get some rest, and get back to parenting these kids.  To all my fellow single parents out there I say, “Hang in there.”

 

What? Me Worry? – A Parenting Moment

I’m smiling on the outside. But on the inside………….

A typical conversation in my household:

Princess: “Mom, you worry too much.”

Before I can respond, Diva pipes in. “That’s what moms do.”

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I’ll admit it.  I am a mom.  And I worry.  A lot.  But I have to ask, can you worry too much?

A teenage girl is missing in my community.  The police suspect that she was abducted from her home.  From her home.  There is always a report somewhere about missing teenagers or accidents that claim a young life.  You don’t have to look hard to find something that will paralyze you in fear.  But that isn’t any way to live.

I dropped my girls off at mall on Saturday afternoon.  The plan was for them to hang out with friends and catch a movie.  I put on a brave face but behind that mask was a scared woman.  I know I have to let them go.  They have to experience things and learn to navigate the world.  I just want to hold them close and keep them in the house with me all the time.

I reflect on my own childhood and remember feeling that my mother suffocated me.  I wasn’t really allowed to go anywhere or do seemingly normal things like go to a Friday night football game.  I remember thinking I had the meanest mother in the world.  Now, I am not saying her methods were right but I do understand the emotion behind it.  It was done out of love.  When you are a parent, everything is motivated by love.  I know now that I may not always get it right. But I love my children.  I won’t ever apologize for that.

I still worry.  I probably always will.  But I will also beat down fear and allow my girls to grow.  And pray that they will always be safe.

Happy Mother’s Day

Every day mothers perform sometimes thankless tasks to care for their children.  We are the backbone of the family, nurse, chauffeur, maid, counselor, event coordinator and cook.  A mother’s job is never done.  And for the majority of us, these things are performed without thought or expectation of award.  But today is our day and what’s a good way to celebrate?  I say Mothers everywhere should have a day WITHOUT their kids.  Ladies, just do you today!  Enjoy.

A Night of Firsts – A Parenting Moment

When you become a parent, you find yourself celebrating a lot of firsts.  First tooth, first word, first steps and the first day of school.  We try to prepare our children for the firsts in life.  Maybe we should focus on preparing ourselves as well.

Two major firsts took place in our family this weekend.  Princess had her first date which coincided with her first prom.  Good times!

Lost in the excitement of finding the perfect shoes and getting a mother-daughter mani and pedi was the fact that this was a first for me too.  My baby is careening toward adulthood at an alarming pace.

After all the pictures had been taken on Saturday, I stood there and watched my daughter.  The little chubby cheeked toddler has grown into a beautiful young lady.  I hugged her and told her to have fun.  I released Princess to  her date.  She smiled and waved.  Then she was gone to experience a new adventure.

I was left with conflicting emotions.  A part of me was happy that my daughter reached this milestone even as the mother in me mourned the little girl who only lives on now in memories and old photographs.

Yes, parenting is a moment of firsts.  I’ll continue to help prepare my kids.  And take lots of pictures.

Which parenting “firsts” have you recently gone through?

Fake Mommy Wars: What We Moms REALLY Want

Here is a follow up to my post earlier today about the “mommy wars” from the website, My Brown Baby.  This is the quote that resonated with me:

 But are we women really this politically naïve that we’d toss our valuable vote into the ring of a man who neither understands nor gives two crap-filled diapers about what mothers want? What mothers need? Are we really so politically stupid that we’d let this man, his rich wife and their equally rich-and-out-of-touch cronies distract us from the real issues while we bicker and get all emo over who works harder—women who work solely in the home vs. women who hold down full-time jobs outside the home? When, exactly, do we mothers come together and demand politicians—whether Republican or Democrat, rich or poor, black or white—get down to the real issues that affect us mothers? When do we stop arguing over stupid s**** and start exercising our political might to affect real change?

via Millionaire Ann Romney and the Fake Mommy Wars: What We Moms REALLY Want.