Tag: Married life

This weekend I went to a friend’s housewarming.  JL and I met at work about 14 years ago.  We bonded as two recently married women and a year later we were pregnant with our first child.  We shared lunches, play dates, mothering advice and shopping trips to Parisian.  We have seen each other through various events  to include death, additional children (one for me, three more for her) and the stresses of married life.  I’ve grown to love her like a sister.

And then JL’s marriage starting going bad.  I was there to listen and help her decide her future plans.  When it went from bad to worst, she decided to leave.  That was a hard decision especially since the only thing she took with her were her kids.  The past few months have been difficult as she has had to rebuild her life while fighting her husband for custody.

I am happy that JL is doing well.  She has a job and recently bought a house that is big enough for her and the kids.  She is starting over but she is happy.  During the housewarming, everyone had to get up and say something to JL.  I didn’t know what I wanted to say then so I kept it short and generic.  Here is what I should have said:

“I am so proud of you.  I know it hasn’t been easy but I admire your courage to make changes in your life so that you can be truly happy.  You have prayed and worked hard to make this day possible.  It may have seemed as if you were alone but looking around this room, at all the people who love and support you, you can see that you were never alone.  You know that if you ever need me, all you have to do is call.  I love you.”

I think she needs to hear it.  Especially the part about being brave.  I’ll give her a call today.

What do  you think?  When life happens, are you strong enough to make difficult changes and choose happiness?