This is a question that I have wondered about for quite some time. The lack of love in modern music is why I keep my iPod on constant rotation. Where is the love indeed?
The Obligatory What I Am Thankful For Post
There are certain things that can be expected this time of year. Football, turkey dinners, family get togethers, Black Friday sales followed by Cyber Monday sales and a bombardment of “thankful” lists. These lists are from various people bragging about how great their lives are and we should all applaud them for recognizing it. I have resisted the urge to add to this phenomenon but I couldn’t think of anything else to blog about so here goes.
Things I am “thankful” for in no particular order:
- My family (Okay, if you don’t put that first people will talk about you.)
- To be gainful employed (I need money to pay bills, buy scratch off lotto tickets so I can stop working, buy food and books. Lots of books)
- The NBA Lockout is finally over. Now I can watch the Lakers on Christmas Day.
- Google (What did we do before it was so easy to look up random facts like “Did Michael Jackson really write all of his songs?” Seriously, as a writer I love Google. It saves time on research. I mean, what did people do before when you wanted to know something? Actually talk to people? The horror.)
- Friends that get me and love me unconditionally. (Thank you for the material. Oh, you didn’t realize that I’ve based a character in my book from your adventures? Pay no attention to this list.)
- That they finally found Sophia on The Walking Dead. Even though she ended up being a zombie and Rick had to shoot her in the head. (On a side note, I am totally on Team Shane.)
- Music – I love music
- The Closer is back for five final episodes!
- And the big one, health. (You can’t put a price on good health.)
These things can go on and on but I’ll stop there.
This Thanksgiving season, what are you thankful for?
NBA Lockout – One Fan’s Perspective
Somebody blow the whistle. There has been a foul called on the season. As a fan of the NBA, I call a flagrant foul on the part of millionaires and billionaires. Why? For arguing over percentage points of BRI (basketball related income) and forgetting that the fans provide a lot of that income.
If you have followed the lockout saga as closely as I have then you know that the owners issued their “final offer”. You also know that the players rejected said offer. Now it looks like they are headed toward decertification of the union and a long drawn out fight in a courtroom.
I am a reasonable person. I have looked at this from both sides. The owners want shorter contracts, smaller salaries, and some assurances that their Superstar/All-Star player can’t decide he wants out and pairs up with another superstar (looking at you, Lebron and Carmelo). Small market teams want to be able to compete with the Los Angeles and New York. The players want the same number of years for guaranteed contracts and more freedom (free agency) to change teams. They feel like they have already given back to ownership with a reduction in BRI from 57% to 53%.
I know I have generalized the many moving parts of the NBA labor impasse. I know its more than BRI, free agent movement and small market team viability. But as a fan, this is what I know for sure. None of it matters to me. I just want to see basketball games.
I want to see if the Dallas Mavericks can repeat as Champions. I want to root against the Miami Heat. I want to see the up and coming teams of Memphis, Chicago and Oklahoma City. I want to see if my beloved Lakers have another run left in them. I want to see it all.
So, if it’s true t hat basketball doesn’t stop, who do I blame for taking the ball and going home? I wish the owners and players would work this thing out and save the season. I love basketball. But like a jilted lover, if the NBA breaks my heart, they may never regain my love.
Ride or Die Friend, How Many of Us Have Them?
I know I am late with this but the season premiere of Grey’s Anatomy got me thinking about friendship. What defines a friendship? Is it making a connection with someone who “gets” you? Is it a shared situation or a convenient presence?
If you are familiar with the show you know that two of the main characters, Meredith Grey and Christina Yang are friends. Let me take that back. They are more than friends. They are “the one” for each other. As in, the one person that gets them. The person that accepts you for who you are. Flaws and all. I like to call it your “Ride or Die”.
Everyone should have a “ride or die” person in their life. Take an inventory of the people in your inner circle. I bet you can pick out the one you know will hold you down no matter what. It may not be your significant other either. I would suspect that for most people it isn’t their significant other.
Take the Grey’s episode as an example. Each character was having an issue with their spouse which could be stripped down to their men not totally “getting” them. Something bad happened and the dudes couldn’t deal. It was as if they suddenly forgot the person they married. The ladies turned to each other. Meredith confronted Owen on Christina’s behalf. Christina helped Meredith when she panicked and disappeared with Zola. No judgement, no conditions. That’s the type of friend you want in your corner.
Are you that friend in return? My sister and I discussed this and she made a profound statement. “Most people think they are “Ride or Die”, she said. “But they really aren’t. And they may never have a reason to prove it.”
I agree. You may never have an opportunity to step up and show how the person you love that you have their back no matter what. But you just might. What will that situation reveal about you? Are you a “Ride or Die” friend?
I like to think that I am one.
What I’m listening to on the iPod right now: “In Your Eyes” – Peter Gabriel
What I’m reading now: “Mogul” – Terrance Dean
Can a Woman Raise a Boy to Be a Man?
My good friend, ME, and I had a debut last week about single mothers raising sons. Needless to say, our opinions are different.
First, some background. ME has an adult son that she raised without any help from his father. I am married and the mother of two girls. Our conversation started when I told her the advice I gave my sister about her son. My nephew’s father has been asking for his son to come and live with him in another state. He wants his son with him as he starts middle school and begins to navigate those murky teenage years. She is against it. I told her she should consider it for the good of her son.
ME shook her head in disbelief. “But that’s her child,” she said. “It’s his child too,” I countered. She asked if I could do it. If I would let my child go live with his father. I said I would. And here is the reason why.
Raising children is hard. As a mother, I can appreciate how hard it is and the frustrations that are multiplied when you have to supply everything your child needs on your own. I think it is especially hard when that child is a male. Women of course are built different. We think different. We show love different. We discipline different. How can a woman show a boy how to be a man? We can’t. We find a strong male influence be it a grandfather, uncle, trusted coach, or friend. Don’t get me wrong. Women have and continue to raise boys that grow to be fine upstanding men. But I assure you that she had help along the way. What if that help can come in the form of the boy’s father? A good father that wants his son and wants only the best for him. The only catch is that due to circumstances, that father lives in another state. Would you let your son go? A better question is, how could you not?
Can We Spoil Our Kids Until They Are Rotten?
Most people in my generation can say that they have achieved more than their own parents. Some of us have better paying jobs and more education based on the hard work and sacrifices of our parents and relatives. It stands to reason that we in turn are in a financial place to provide more for our kids than what we had growing up. Speaking for my own kids, they have cell phones, iPods, Nintendo Wii, a family desktop computer, etc. And it goes beyond material things. We chose where we live in order to be in a good school district. They don’t really know what it is to do without something that need. They have never been hungry. That’s a good thing. Every child should have access to medical care and good schools. Every child should have their needs provided for and get to have some of the things they want. But what is too much? If you give your kids everything, how will they learn to appreciate what they have?
My husband and I try to make sure that our girls know that they are fortunate. We try to instill in them a work ethic and to understand that nothing in life is just handed to you. We try to make them understand that you have to work for things that you want. I hope the lesson is getting through. I enjoy being able to spoil my kids. I just don’t want them to turn out rotten.
What I’m listening to: “If You Don’t Know Me By Now” – Teddy Pendergrass
What I’m reading now: “The Last Days of Ptolemy Grey” – Walter Mosley
How to Love Unconditionally – Martha Beck’s Advice – Oprah.com
This article is so profound that I had to share. Please read and enjoy.
How to Love Unconditionally – Martha Beck’s Advice – Oprah.com.
NBA Lockout – My Thoughts
I love basketball. I like to play it and I enjoy watching it. The hubby and I try to catch at least one or two NBA games a season. (Those ticket prices are not for the faint of heart or checking account.) And I think the majority of people will agree that the past NBA season was the most compelling in years. You had the hate for the Miami Heat, rising young stars, a likeable MVP in Derrick Rose and the Dallas Mavericks winning the NBA finals. What’s not to like?
Then we get to the summer and the expiration of the CBA, the lock out and talk of players going overseas. When Billy Hunter, President of the Player’s Association said he wouldn’t bet on their being an NBA season I was disappointed.
Anytime you have millionaires and billionaires arguing about how to split up revenues you won’t get any sympathy from your every day working stiff. What are they talking about here? I think there are some things in this situation that we can all agree on:
- Did some NBA owners give out bad contracts? Yes. I’m looking at you Washington (Gilbert Arenas/Antawn Jamison), Orlando (Rashard Lewis), Detroit (Richard Hamilton), Atlanta (Joe Johnson), Los Angeles Clippers (Baron Davis), etc.
- Did some players fail to live up to expectations? Yes. Eddy Curry, Turkoglu, Ben Gordon, Michael Redd, Stojakovic and Vince Carter are just a few names that come to mind.
So, how can they fix this mess? Let’s start with a more equitable split of revenues (the players currently get 57%), a hard cap to keep the owners from being stupid and reduce the number of years on guaranteed contracts. I mean, if players are so eager to go play overseas for little money (by NBA standards) and no guarantees, why won’t they make some concessions?
Bottom line, I just want to see the games. I want the NBA season to start on time. I want to see if Dallas can repeat, if my Lakers have one more title run in them, and if the Heat is still the team to hate. I want the NBA to continue. Is that too much to ask?
What I’m Listening to Now: “Here and Now” – Luther Vandross
What I’m Reading Now: “Cross Fire” – James Patterson
>TRUST
>What’s Playing on the iPod right now: “My All” – Mariah Carey
What I am reading now: “White Mocha” – Michele Grant
According to Merriam-Webster, the definition of “trust” is the assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something. Sounds simple enough. You just believe that someone or something is exactly what they present themselves to be. If only people were that reliable.
I’ll be the first to admit that I have trust issues. A horrible middle school year made me leery of people’s motivations. But once you get past that barrier, I go all in. Loyal almost to a fault. So, the betrayal when it comes (and it almost always comes) the hurt is that much deeper. It doesn’t have to be a major deception either. It can be something as simple as not keeping your word. After that, I am looking at you side-eyed and questioning the reasons behind everything.
Mainly I question myself. What signs did I overlook? What comment did I ignore that spoke the truth of your intentions. I hate that feeling. So, I withdraw and look my feelings away where they can’t be hurt.
It is misery when you discover that you can’t even trust yourself.
Peace out.
>Inspiration
>What’s Playing on the iPod right now: “Hate on Me” – Jill Scott
Today I was inspired. Since tomorrow is Valentine’s Day and I didn’t have anything for Hubby, I went on my lunch break to this black owned book store/coffee/bakery store called Literary Sweets. My BFF (I’ll call her B) went with me. We met the owner, Shennice, who shared with us how she made her dream come true to open her own business. She worked in the corporate world in Atlanta for some years and then moved back home. She wanted to open a book store and actually started her business with only $50. Family and friends helped but she got her hussle on and is making it happen. B was impressed because she likes to be around and learn from “real go-getters”.
Shennice also shared with us information on self publishing or fronting your own publishing house. She has a wealth of knowledge and turned me on to some avenues to showcase my work. This is an ordinary women who is doing something she loves without any regrets. Whenever you meet someone like that, it makes you want to do better.
I have got to get started on making my own dream come true.
Peace.
