Author: Michelle's Site

Posted on

How Do You Measure Love?

 

Now that the spectacle of Valentine’s Day is over, we can get back to our regular love lives.  Full disclosure:  I’m not a big fan of February 14th.  Maybe it’s all the flowers and candy hearts.  Maybe it’s the over abundance of cupids and cards.  Maybe its the forced display of gifts signifying someone cared enough to send the very best.  I think it’s all of the above but mostly it is the commercialization of it all.

When I was  younger, V-day held a lot of weight.  I would measure the value of my  relationship by the amount of gifts I received.  With age comes wisdom and now I know that one day does not define a relationship.

My husband always delivers on Valentine’s Day and we celebrate along with the masses.  But I’ll take the everyday displays of love over cards and flowers every time.  The small acts of love like relinquishing the “big” television so that I can watch Grey’s Anatomy and Braxton Family Values.   The routine task of taking my car for service or planning our annual family vacation.  Giving me a call during the work day.  Buying me a laptop when I said I wanted to be a writer.    (Still working on that one, honey.) Being there through whatever life throws our way.  My husband’s love is on full display when he goes to a job that he hates but provides for our family.  He shows love in a thousand ways that don’t involve balloons or a piece of candy.

Valentine’s Day can be fun.  But I’ll take the every day gifts of love every time.  How do you measure love?

Posted on

R.I.P. Whitney Houston

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yesterday news quickly spread over the internet of Whitney Houston’s passing. I took this news hard. Whitney was “the Voice”.  She had a style that many have tried to imitate.  I remember when she came on the scene.  I was a teenager and her ballads (Saving all my Love For You and You Give Good Love) spoke to my visions of love .  She continued to gift us with songs throughout the years and I loved them all.  If I was doing a soundtrack for my life, Whitney would be in the mix.

Here is my tribute to a wonderful singer.  R.I.P. Whitney.  You will be missed.

“I Want to Dance With Somebody”

“I’m Your Baby Tonight”  – One of my all time favorites

“I Learned From the Best”

“Greatest Love of All”

“I’m Every Woman”

Enjoy!

Posted on

Does Love Need a License (Marriage) to Be Real?

Love is Love, right?

The February  issue of Essence magazine features Miami Heat basketball star Dwyane Wade and Actress Gabrielle Union.  The internets immediately erupted in outrage that the unmarried couple was featured on the love issue of the magazine.  This made me wonder:  Does love need a marriage license to be real?

The charges against the couple being featured on a major publication range from the “they’re not married” to “she is a homewrecker/he is an adulterer”.  The second stance, (homewrecker/adultery), can be easily dismissed.  Yes, he was married and probably cheated on his wife.  I would reason that Gabrielle wasn’t the first woman Dwyane was with.  She is only the most famous.  We (the public) don’t know the timetable of Dwyane’s separation and divorce.  I believe some things should be private even for celebrities.  Bottom line, we don’t know these people.  The only thing we know for certain is that he plays basketball for a living.  We know she has been in some movies.  In essence (see what I did there?), we don’t know anything.

Okay, one thing we do know is that they aren’t married to each other.  So what?  According to the article, they have been together for three years now.  They profess their love and respect for each other.  By their own account, they are living together and co-parenting Dwyane’s two sons.  Sounds like love to me.  Why does society place so much importance on a marriage license?

I am a married woman and I wouldn’t love my husband any less if we weren’t married.  I bet a lot of married people would agree.  So what does that license really symbolize?   Could it be saying that two people have chosen to live together, co-mingle funds, and provide insurance for each other?  If a marriage license solidifies a business relationship, why do people claim it symbolizes the legitimacy of love?

I believe Gabrielle and Dwyane are deserving of  being featured on the cover of a magazine.  If they say it’s love, why should a license be required?

 

Posted on

Super Monday – Super Bowl Review

Super Bowl Sunday has come and gone. (Congratulations to the New York Giants.)   The only thing left now is the analysis of the event.   SportsCenter has that whole football review on lock so I won’t get into that.

I didn’t have a vested interest in who won the actual game so I focused on the commericals. Every year there is this big build up. And much like the game itself, this year’s batch were pretty lame until the end.

Here are my picks for the best of the bunch:

I was looking forward to the Ferris Bueller/Matthew Broderick ad.  It didn’t disappoint.

Another great spot from Volkswagon.

Gotta love Seinfeld.

Doritos nailed it with this one.

And my personal favorite, Betty White.

Until next year, enjoy!

Posted on

“NO VOTE FOR YOU: A PRIMER” by @emokidsloveme | Angry Black Lady Chronicles

We had this discussion in the office the other day.  This article explains it  better than I could.

“NO VOTE FOR YOU: A PRIMER” by @emokidsloveme | Angry Black Lady Chronicles.

Posted on

When the Spouse is Away…

Pretend this is me. Don't I look happy to have the whole bed!

The husband announced he was going on his monthly golf trip with the guys.  I was so excited that I could have literally jumped for joy.  I had to play it cool.  “That’s good,” I replied.  “You deserve a getaway.”  I was being sincere.  He works hard and should have free time to do something he enjoys.  But I was also considering my own moment.  I would have the bed to myself!

If you have lived with someone long enough you learn cohabitation requires compromise.  Somethings you may like to do but if it infringes on your significant other, you reach a happy medium.  An example:  I would love to sleep in the middle of the bed and watch DVDs or read until I get sleepy.  The husband insists on sharing the sleep space so I stay on my side of the bed and leave the DVDs and books to daylight hours.  With his overnight trip pending, I had a list of things I could enjoy having the room all to myself.

And enjoy it I did.  I took my shower early and lounged around in pajamas.  I fed the kids and left them with the big television in the great room and retreated to my space.  I had two DVDs where nothing blows up and there aren’t any car chases, a book on standby and popped popcorn.  I climbed in the center of the bed surrounded by pillows and remotes.  Heaven.

Yes, I appreciated my alone time.  Love had nothing to do with it.  I believe all couples should have little breaks away from each other.  Not only is it good to just be yourself for a moment but it makes you appreciate your relationship.  I was happy to see my husband when he returned.  He is my best friend and I enjoy his company.  Until the next time he is away.

What say you?  What things do you like to do when the spouse/significant other is away?

Posted on

Are Some Things Unforgivable?

 

In last week’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy (Hope for the Hopeless), Christina and Owen had a major argument.  For those people who do not watch the show, here is some background.  Owen and Christina were married last season.  Both are surgeons.  Owen is the new Chief and Christina is a resident specializing in cardio.  Christina’s character is ambitious, determined and focused on becoming the BEST cardiac surgeon.  She does not want children.  Everyone who knows her knows that she doesn’t want children.  Owen is an excellent trauma surgeon but wants it all.  That includes a family.

A major point contention for the couple came when Christina discovered she was pregnant.  She didn’t want it.  Owen did.  Eventually, Owen agreed with Christina’s decision to terminate the pregnancy.  He even accompanied her to have the procedure done.

Fast forward to this episode.  Owen and Christina were arguing over Christina’s refusal to follow this direction at work.   But like most arguments between couples, the conversation was really about something else.  Then Owen dropped the abortion bomb.  “You killed our baby!” he screamed.  Every one of their colleagues heard this.

No matter if you are pro-choice or pro-life, my question is this:  Once a decision has been made as a couple (even if one party isn’t entirely happy about it) can you ever throw it up in an argument?  I think Owen was out-of-order and their marriage will probably end as a result.

What say you?  Anyone care to share?

Posted on

It’s Your Homework, Why Do I Feel Like I Am in School?

When is summer vacation?

School is in full swing and this means kids are coming home with work.  Hence, the name “homework”.  This is not good.  I am a firm believer that just like Vegas, school should stay at school.

I’ve read the studies that suggest too much homework makes kids hate learning.  Other studies conclude homework does not measurably improve academic achievement.  (That one came from Duke University, Harris Cooper.)  These are all valid reasons to support my position.  However, my reason is quite simple.  I hate feeling stupid.

First some background.  I graduated from high school some twenty years time ago.  I’ve even graduated from college.  I’m not trying to impress anyone by writing this.  I’m trying to reassure myself that I’m not an idiot.

Some of these homework assignments can make an adult question t heir own intelligence.  Picture this:  Diva is in middle school.  Her Language Arts class gives weekly STEMS test.  In case you are wondering, STEMS can best be described as parts of words. For example, archy = government, cede = go and ard = always.  Whatever happened to good old-fashioned vocabulary words.  We used to get a list of words and a dictionary.  We wrote the list by ourselves.  Now Diva has this weekly assignment and insists I take part in it.  I’m her “study buddy” she says.  Did I ask for this honor?  No.  But what can I do?

I think kids should focus on spelling.  Remember the spelling bee?  Now that’s something that should be brought back to the classroom.  This “text first, talk never” generation could use a refresher.  They abbreviate everything.  I had to instruct my kids to write complete words when they text me.

I’m not even going to get started on the subject of math.  I’ve been unable to help with that since elementary school.  Good thing Princess is good in math or Diva would be in trouble.

To my kid’s school district, I’m begging.   Stop with the homework.  Think of the countless of parents who risk looking stupid in front of their kids.  Let’s leave school work at school.  Save the family.