Author: Michelle's Site

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Playing Favorites

Everyone has favorites.  Maybe a favorite color (purple) or a favorite food (lasagna).   You may even have a favorite person.  This person is typically considered your best friend.  But what about when it comes to family?  Should you have a favorite?  More specifically, should you have a favorite child and/or grandchild?

I hate to generalize, but I believe in most families with more than one child, there is a favorite.  Family dynamics may vary but everyone typically knows who this child is.  From the gist of this post, one can assume that the “favorite” child status is not me.  And I was cool with it.  I can accept a loved one shortcomings even if said shortcoming meant that I was considered the level-headed one that didn’t demand a lot of attention.

And then I had kids of my own.   I love my two girls in different ways but I love them the same.  Hubby and I are very sensitive about showing favoritism.  What we do for one child, we do for the other.

Other people, family members included, may not show the same restraint.  What to do about a grandparent that shows blatant favoritism toward the other grandchildren?   What do you do when your child has been hurt by the callous disregard from a grandparent?  Talking doesn’t help.  This person doesn’t think they did anything wrong.  My only recourse to protect my children is by keeping them away from their grandparent.  Somehow that doesn’t seem right either.

Playing favorites.  Everyone has them.  But in families, playing that game can only push people apart.

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For Him

I open my eyes to another new day

And remember all over again

That you are not here

My heart longs for you.

******

I go through the motions

Of living a life

Kids, work and bills

My mind stays on you.

******

I lay awake at night

Remembering your smile, your scent

Your presence

My hands want to hold you.

******

I am every woman

Strong enough on my own

But with you I feel invincible

My soul needs you.

(c) 2012 Michelle Rayford

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What? Me Worry? – A Parenting Moment

I’m smiling on the outside. But on the inside………….

A typical conversation in my household:

Princess: “Mom, you worry too much.”

Before I can respond, Diva pipes in. “That’s what moms do.”

********************************************

I’ll admit it.  I am a mom.  And I worry.  A lot.  But I have to ask, can you worry too much?

A teenage girl is missing in my community.  The police suspect that she was abducted from her home.  From her home.  There is always a report somewhere about missing teenagers or accidents that claim a young life.  You don’t have to look hard to find something that will paralyze you in fear.  But that isn’t any way to live.

I dropped my girls off at mall on Saturday afternoon.  The plan was for them to hang out with friends and catch a movie.  I put on a brave face but behind that mask was a scared woman.  I know I have to let them go.  They have to experience things and learn to navigate the world.  I just want to hold them close and keep them in the house with me all the time.

I reflect on my own childhood and remember feeling that my mother suffocated me.  I wasn’t really allowed to go anywhere or do seemingly normal things like go to a Friday night football game.  I remember thinking I had the meanest mother in the world.  Now, I am not saying her methods were right but I do understand the emotion behind it.  It was done out of love.  When you are a parent, everything is motivated by love.  I know now that I may not always get it right. But I love my children.  I won’t ever apologize for that.

I still worry.  I probably always will.  But I will also beat down fear and allow my girls to grow.  And pray that they will always be safe.

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#WriteLikeCrazy

#WriteLikeCrazy

In an effort to continue with my new-found commitment to get back on a writing schedule, I have decided to join the #WriteLikeCrazy plan started by the author, Tayari Jones.  Side note:  If you haven’t read “Silver Sparrow” by Tayari you are missing out a great novel.

Anyway, my goal is to spend at least one hour a day writing.  The writing can be a blog post or research for a story.  The point is that I need to be doing something every day that moves my projects forward.

To all my writer friends, check out her website and join the movement.  Got a goal?  Feel free to share.

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5 Reasons Why I Hate Shopping – A Parenting Moment

 

Seems harmless enough? Don’t be fooled.

School starts here in another week.  That means its back to school shopping for our family.  I don’t look forward to this at all.  Here are the top five reasons I hate shopping with my kids:

1.  Being female, people may assume that I would enjoy shopping no matter the occasion.  Those people would be wrong.  I am more of the get in, get out type of person.  I don’t like to linger over the racks.  I don’t like the crowds.  To me, shopping is one of those mundane tasks you have to perform in order to be considered a civilized member of society.  Like bathing daily.  Or going to the DMV.

2.  My girls, however, love to shop.  All you have to do to make Diva’s life  complete is give her an unlimited budget and a ride to the mall.

3.  When did we decide that all clothes designer would only produce small, tight, and revealing articles of clothing?  Why must every pair of jeans get progressively tighter under the guise of being skinny, super skinny or something called jeggings?  It makes for some stressful conversations.

4.  Speaking of clothing sizes, who are they making these clothes to fit?  Barbie?  I am really getting tired of having to explain to my medium-sized daughter that she needs a large because of the snug cut.  A medium is really a small in today’s fashion world.

5.  Auntie Ann’s Pretzels. I can’t walk past this spot in the mall without being compelled to buy a pretzel.  Those things are evil.  But oh, so tasty.

Do you have a back to school shopping story to share?

 

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