My good friend, ME, and I had a debut last week about single mothers raising sons. Needless to say, our opinions are different.
First, some background. ME has an adult son that she raised without any help from his father. I am married and the mother of two girls. Our conversation started when I told her the advice I gave my sister about her son. My nephew’s father has been asking for his son to come and live with him in another state. He wants his son with him as he starts middle school and begins to navigate those murky teenage years. She is against it. I told her she should consider it for the good of her son.
ME shook her head in disbelief. “But that’s her child,” she said. “It’s his child too,” I countered. She asked if I could do it. If I would let my child go live with his father. I said I would. And here is the reason why.
Raising children is hard. As a mother, I can appreciate how hard it is and the frustrations that are multiplied when you have to supply everything your child needs on your own. I think it is especially hard when that child is a male. Women of course are built different. We think different. We show love different. We discipline different. How can a woman show a boy how to be a man? We can’t. We find a strong male influence be it a grandfather, uncle, trusted coach, or friend. Don’t get me wrong. Women have and continue to raise boys that grow to be fine upstanding men. But I assure you that she had help along the way. What if that help can come in the form of the boy’s father? A good father that wants his son and wants only the best for him. The only catch is that due to circumstances, that father lives in another state. Would you let your son go? A better question is, how could you not?