>What’s Playing on the iPod right now: “My All” – Mariah Carey
What I am reading now: “White Mocha” – Michele Grant
According to Merriam-Webster, the definition of “trust” is the assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something. Sounds simple enough. You just believe that someone or something is exactly what they present themselves to be. If only people were that reliable.
I’ll be the first to admit that I have trust issues. A horrible middle school year made me leery of people’s motivations. But once you get past that barrier, I go all in. Loyal almost to a fault. So, the betrayal when it comes (and it almost always comes) the hurt is that much deeper. It doesn’t have to be a major deception either. It can be something as simple as not keeping your word. After that, I am looking at you side-eyed and questioning the reasons behind everything.
Mainly I question myself. What signs did I overlook? What comment did I ignore that spoke the truth of your intentions. I hate that feeling. So, I withdraw and look my feelings away where they can’t be hurt.
It is misery when you discover that you can’t even trust yourself.
Peace out.